Living in Devotion
To friends new and long faded. To strangers, disdainers, and everyone in between; this is for you.
If you've arrived here, of all places in this expansive Universe, welcome. May the message for you, hiding in these lines click into place instantly and send a wave of knowing through your being. You're exactly where you're supposed to be. While the messages shared here are reflections of my path and experiences, I urge you to take the fractals that hit you in the chest and make you take a deep breathe. That is medicine I am humbled to deliver. Now, onto the good word.
So many unimaginable things happened last year. We know what transpired. We feel it in our bones. We carry the grief in our shoulders and the furry in our feet; but for now, we need to ease our bodies down. Inside even the greatest of losses, something is found. A nugget, illuminated with faith that tomorrow will be colored by more knowing, ease, and reassurance from All That Is. Something that doesn't really have language; born out of silence and deep listening to your body. It's living in Devotion. The shift from living in faith to living in devotion occurs when one is both ferociously dedicated to one's own spiritual remembering and has such an unwavering relationship with God that you never even question if what's unfolding in your world is indeed for you. It is rooted in an understanding that you walk in-step with Spirit in a way that, only that which was written for you, can cross your path. Period. That you are spiritually covered and tuned into your Higher Self to the degree that planning is almost laughable because everything exists in the now. Recognizing you know everything you need to know, when you need to know it. No anticipation. No 'what if'. Just a sense of direction and firm footedness that could never be attained through intellectual explorations. It's about living in the body instead of the mental or ethereal. No matter how you're choosing to self-actualize this lifetime, no matter what you call your higher power, nothing you believe in and surrender to should be taking you out of your body and out of this realm in order to hear it's call or feel a sense of belonging. Human experience is meant to be just that. Life happens here, so your spiritual practice, your devotional, needs to happen here and your body is the conduit given to you to pull down and decode these messages. That is why it is so vital to be able to recognize how you feel. This doesn't mean putting names to sensations or trying to pinpoint how you came to your conclusion; it's allowing your body to inform you of your present state without forcing it to communicate with you in a specific language. It's trusting that whatever you receive (song lyrics in your head, pain in your back, a serendipitous chat with a stranger) is exactly what you are needing and reflect your current state. It's a process of following bread crumbs and never asking if the breadcrumbs are going to stop, what they're made of, or where they are leading, just blissfully following along.
So, here are some things I like to do to ensure I'm living in the body. These practices allow me to hear Spirit clearly and truly imbue my spiritual practice into the mundane in a seamless way.
Daily Movement: I fully remembered last year that the most effective method of transmutation and way to empty my mind (which is what meditation is) is moving my body. For me, this is specifically walking and dancing. Whether long walks through a neighborhood, or shaking my ass to an early 2000's playlist; to me this act literally dislodges trauma and emotional blocks that are stuck in your body, particularly joints and within a day or two, clarity starts pouring in. This past summer I started walking through my neighborhood, working up a sweat without direction and would just ask God every morning to bring me exactly what I needed. It was during these walks that the remainder of 2020 would be revealed to me and I went from struggling with a lot of grief and anger, to being filled with resolve and a heart-centered confidence that I was doing everything I could with what I had, and the rest is up to the Divine. Especially with many of us being sedentary more than before and social engagements being so few and far between, if you even have the ability to (safely) run some errands via walking or have a spare 20 mins in the morning before the kids wake up for a headphones dance party, TAKE IT! And while you're cutting loose, just moving with reckless abandon, communicate with your spiritual counsel. "As you clear my body of cluttered energy and dense emotions Spirit please allow levity and clarity to wash over me. I surrender to your all knowing wisdom and willingly walk the path you have paved for me. Thank you for making the directions instantly recognizable to me and being graceful with me when I start to question that which I cannot comprehend." You will find your own movement routine and prayer practice, just move.
Choose Foods that Feel Good: Ok, hear me out. As someone with a long history of body struggles, notice I am not saying eat healthy, organic, or any of that. Instead, this is about using your ability to be aware of your body day to day in order to assess your unique needs for that moment, and feed them (literally and figuratively). Some days for me this absolutely looks like some gooey nachos (to know me is to know chips & salsa are my desert island snack) or something fried, other days it's a gluten free, veggie loaded pasta or salmon with whatever else is in the fridge. I know for me, turning 30 meant I could no longer ignore how my most mundane actions could make or break my body and how I felt. When I let my inner child run the show more for more than a couple days straight (aka eating whatever with reckless abandon), my body start to rebuke my lack of discipline and my inner parent is like, "Do you see why we're here?!?!?". So this is all about taking things day by day, recognizing how you feel and discerning the difference between wants and needs, especially on a physical/feeling level. If you're feeling guilty or shameful for a choice you're making be sure to stop and ask yourself why. Be still, listen and determine if it's the inner child or inner parent who's feeling neglected. Do you feel guilty because certain food has to be earned, or because you know you've already been indulgent and continuing down that road right now will come with some kind of internal pushback? Going through this process will allow you to not only honor your physical vessel but also learn what your inner child and parent's voices sound/feel like which is an asset. Eating in a way that causes discomfort also distracts you from your feeling body. If you vessels primary function is telling you that you're too full or you ate the wrong thing, it can't tell you the emotional story. Especially since we're talking about the gut, "it was a gut feeling", it's a very primal form of intuition to have access to.
Say How You Feel, When You Feel It: This one is harder than the first two and it's not a linear process of getting up the gusto to be raw all the time but it yields an impressive pay off. Now, I understand that there are certain situations where it is dangerous to do this whether the threat is physical or even financial. In those situations you absolutely choose safety. Self-preservation is a cornerstone to human existence and no amount of faith will be able to override genuine, DNA response (this is also different from a pure trauma response but we'll discuss that another day). With that said, in most other situations you can practice shedding fear of rejection or being seen as "overly emotional/too much", while also acknowledging your feelings so they don't get trapped in your physical vessel. The way I do this is by speaking freely, as if I have nothing to lose, especially about emotional matters that leave me vulnerable. Many of us have been conditioned that a set of emotions are bad and shedding light on them, owning them is drawing undo attention to the ugly or setting up a guilt trip. But I do this because many of us go through life with words unsaid. We daydream of what we'd say to people if there could be no repercussions for our words all the while, only you know your truth and by keeping it to yourself you also are robbed of their truth. By being forward with the uncomfortable, you not only free yourself from emotional weight but you also give the other party the permission to speak freely. They may not act on this freedom, but you cleared the way for that energy and when they're ready and able to recognize it, they will. Best case scenario, the other person feels safe responding honestly, with vulnerability, and a genuine, revealing, and healing conversation can take place. There will be people or types of relationships that doing this is easier than others, that's ok, just take the opportunities to do it that feel safe to do so and slowly push against that fear of rejection.
Well friends, I pray that the messages here find you well and allow you to set a foundation for your life that raises your discernment as well as your humanity. The words here are ever-green and serve, to some degree, a template of what kind of posts you will find here going forward. If there is a particular "spiritual topic" you have questions on, reach out and I will do my best to cover it in a post. Other than that, I will write about what I'm living and learning through so we may commune together in this ancient wisdom.
With deep love & reverie,